I had a deadline today. A proposal was due. Like a typical procrastinator my best work was done at the last minute. I have to accept that about me and work to get better as I know it’s at the ire of the powers that be. Despite, I feel decent about it. This would be my biggest win in a while and for $1M over two years all will be quickly forgotten (not that it hasn’t already as there’s always a bigger fish to catch or flame to extinguish).

I feel life starting to even out again. It’s lonely. My head checker says I look emotionally heavy. I am. Reality is I’m not sure I’ve never not been “heavy”. I just had a good medication. Money has me scared. I owe the ex a bit of it in the next year. My refi went through last week so I’ll have a bit more. Still I splurged on a bass amp this week. Just something to occupy me with hoop dreams of joining a band that gigs on my “off” weekend.

I hope to get something done in the way of a project this weekend. There’s a lot to pick from. I’m also meeting a high school friend for dinner Saturday. I told her things need to be platonic as I still have a lot of me work to do. She was cool with that. It’s nice to connect with old friends.

I want to tell someone I’m proud of them and to hang in there…