Well, here we are. It’s Christmas day. There’s an emotional storm system on the way through my wife and I. On one hand she’s/we’re still committed to pursuing a divorce, but there is still an amount of love between us and the kids that is hard to deny. And it shouldn’t be denied.
“My friend reminded me that I can still love you and hate the disease,” is one of the things my wife said last night as we shared a hug. There is an ominous sadness where I think we both realize that for the next while we do need to separate our lives in order to get ourselves right and gain some perspective on life as a whole. Still, last night rocked. I bought and grilled some steaks for dinner, there were laughs and smiles and fun and a few tears. I aced the grilling of my wife’s steak (a filet mignon, rare) with twice baked potatos and salad. We had the kids in bed at a reasonable hour and went to gift wrapping over glasses of cabernet and the movie “A Christmas Story”. It was another moment I felt very close to my wife and wish I could have snuggled into her and fallen asleep, but I need to remember to keep to boundaries or this will get harder than it already is.
Today, we’re at my sister’s house celebrating with my extended family. My wife only stayed for an hour or so before heading off to meet her folks. So far it has been a good time. I’m partially writing this blog to avoid eating too much junk before dinner in addition to expressing my gratitude for, what could have been an awful holiday, being bearable with a sufficient amount of joy peppered in.