We had a therapy session the other day. Unusual for us I requested a little bit of couples time. I thought the topic of boundaries would be worth discussing. The day before we had a session with the parenting planner person (i.e. someone who helps us fill out a form for $125/hr). After the meeting I brought up getting a drink. We went and got some wings and a beer. Conversation was cordial running the gamut from serious to mildly flirtatious. Afterwards we had some emotional conversation and shared a hug before I left. Admittedly the boundaries were very blurry and I attempted to steal a kiss. …fail.
The day after I found myself a bit more off-kilter than usual. Boundaries are going to be hard as there’s still a lot of love and more than a fair share of “like”. The therapist pointed out that my best way to perhaps eventually reconcile is to hold better boundaries and recognize and point out the “quicksand” and avoid it. Well I’m stubborn and impatient and don’t like the idea of holding boundaries. Probably due to the fact that I suck at boundaries. Typically, I either need to put the wife on the far side of an emotional desert or try to have her for dessert (yes, I’m meaning that >:-) ).
Anyhow, I think I need to take the advice and make it a part of having respectful boundaries for a time. Maybe it even needs to be a part of this whole “restoration to sanity” thing.