I’m on travel for work again. I’m in Washington DC for a workshop. I love coming to DC. I used to live out here so it’s a good opportunity to see old friends and reminisce.
Part of me thinks things wouldn’t have gone the way they did if we were still out here. That’s not true though. I was indulging in my addiction the whole time out here. Even saw it progress. My first in-person encounters were here. All that was missing was my inability to actually control it. In truth, things would have likely been worse. Writing this still brings a feeling of sadness.
I also have come to some recent revelations and am seeing other ways my behavior was not appropriate. In particular spending too much time interacting with a young female intern at my work one summer. Nothing physical happened, but I spent too much time around her desk and too much time talking to her about personal stuff. In reality, I regrettably likely made her uncomfortable. That realization has me mad at myself, but I am grateful that it occurred. I feel the need to make a “living” amends through the experience by better realizing what is appropriate and inappropriate behavior. If paths ever cross an actual amends will occur too. Spiritual growth through healing misconnections, as best as I can while keeping to my “side of the street”, is a good thing.
Still, I miss it out here and love seeing old friends and colleagues. I had dinner with one of my first connections here last night. He and I started a research project that resulted in several publications and was quite successful. Additionally, we are good friends and caught up on life, family, old times, etc. over a pint at Dogfish Head Alehouse. (don’t worry AA’s they serve soda too and they’d look at you weird if you want whiskey and milk).