This is me in my freshman year of college. The button was found in an old coat at the ex’s house and my daughter gave it back to me. Looking at it makes it momentarily brings me back. I was super sore from two-a-days and had a nice tan going.
That first camp had a very “not in Kansas anymore” feeling. I feel nostalgic about it, but also realize I felt out of place and rather lonely. It was tough relating to the guys; many more jock than anything. While I loved playing I never felt like I had the right personality to mix well with my teammates. The reality is that feeling probably resonated with most of the guys at one time or another.
In a way, I’m back in that place; only at work instead of starting a college football career. I’m feeling without a peer and a little adrift despite being at my current workplace for 12 years. Perhaps some of this displaced feeling is subconscious. Almost as though it’s time to move on and go do something else. This brings the question of where exactly it is I should go and what should I do? Should I pursue a professorship? Should I try to scale the managerial ranks? Should I just go be a physicist/engineer elsewhere? Should I just rearrange my office and not worry about it?
Not many tech folks hang in one position for a dozen years any more. Job changes are the way to scale the pay and seniority ladder. It also lets your current employer really evaluate how valuable you actually are. I tend to think I’m valuable, but sometimes I get the gist that management, particularly our CEO just sees me as expensive. This is even though my base pay lags behind comparable jobs and there’s no company compensation tied to revenue or company performance. It’s funny how dating a human resources expert can give some perspective such as that.
Anyhow, that button drums up a lot reflection and maybe some perspective. Maybe it’s time for a new adventure.