I have an old friend from my slowpitch softball days before the divorce. She and her husband seemed like a great pair. This was especially in contrast to the chaos of my ex and I. They even ran triathlons and went to metal concerts together.
Well, as another example of, “you never know what goes on behind the scenes”, my friends split up and are now divorced. Initially, I thought it was on her struggles (working a recovery program, etc.), but it turns out her husband was the one having a long term affair.
I first noticed the split when I came across my friend on Tinder and then noticed her profile change on Facebook. Having memories of my split, even though I was on the other side of things, I feel awful for her as I did for my ex-.
What’s even worse is it seems that her now ex- can’t even admit to being separated, etc. as he’s still listed as married and has pictures of him and her up on social media. It’s now occurring to me that he might be that surface level people pleaser, that controlling low-grade sociopath that will do everything he can to make it look like he’s some kind of hero.
Anyhow, they’re both on my minds and I guess I’m having a little “empath anger”, whatever that means. Thus, I wrote a poem/song, I may put it to music, but I felt it something that needed to come out to the Universe:
Well, look at you just perfect as fuck
Pretending things aren’t fucked up
I shouldn’t have wasted my time
The pain isn’t worth the sublime
I’m beginning to think you built me up so high
Deliberately leaving me to die
The way off this summit is too steep
Guess I need to take that leap
Trust I’ll land on my two feet
You best be on the retreat
I’m coming to take what’s due
I’ll make sure to drive the heel through
Seems all you did was gaming
Well I’m done playing
I need to get back to who I was, you see
Before you compromised me
Can you feel that impending doom
Karma is coming for you soon
When it gets here don’t crying for me
I won’t have compassion for your plea
Next time you see me walking by
You can cut the crap and fly
Away, get the fuck away from me
Dig your own grave and let me be
Starting again hurts like hell
Too many synapses to dispell
Reprograming you away
One memory a day