…Saturday in May where I have my kids. So far. I guess I get two more May weekends to get it right if this one goes awry. In MN it’s the fishing opener and Mother’s day weekend. Today is also the affair person’s birthday. My sister and my best childhood friend’s birthay was yesterday. I guess in terms of significance it’s a loaded weekend. Really, the affair person’s birthday last year turned from something amazing at the time to a cluster-f–k. I won’t elaborate, but it involved a nice lunch and a suspicious end of the day followed by running into her and her hoodlum at a nearby bar (after she had sworn him off a few weeks earlier).
This is the second time it should have ended, but something in me was just unable to pull the plug. I should have pulled the plug. I might still be married. On the other hand, I’d probably still be working on making the next mistake, and the next, and the next until I wound up in this same spot. I would have still been slacking at work and unattentive elsewhere. Perhaps my problems would have gotten larger. Perhaps my bottom could have involved a job loss, loss of child custody, exile from family, suicide (note to the overly concerned, I have no intention of offing myself)? Instead I got a metaphorical kick in the teeth, but nothing I can’t recover from.
There’s still much to be grateful for and I dare say there’s even more hope of a future of being my genuine self.