Maybe it’s the weather.
Maybe it’s the lonely disconnect I feel from time to time.
Maybe it’s the fact I decided to reset my sobriety.
Maybe it’s the brain chemistry and the hangover that comes from not feeling confident in my actions and feelings.
Maybe it’s the rolling back of my Prozac dose.
Maybe it’s the impending Holidays and fear of my finances.
Maybe it’s just a fresh wave of pain to work through.
Maybe I just need sleep.
Whatever it is I am surrendered to work through it and trust that the discomfort will pass. There’s much to be grateful for. There’s much to keep me content in the moment. There’s much to look ahead to. It’s this gray area between the now and the later that causes me the most strife. Where are my actions taking me? What does my HP have in store for me? I feel nothing now is truly mine, just on loan. Not even the time I’ve had I can claim as the seconds march away. Therein I need to find contentment in just being along for the ride.
Enough of the ramble, my energy is low.