I like you. I do. I enjoy the time I get to spend with you and like exploring the world with you. Despite, I have to admit I’m a bit frustrated at you this weekend. Had I known your weekend plans didn’t include anything but a couple of texts with me while you are out shopping and dining with your girlfriend I would have structured my time a bit differently.

See, I had the opportunity to have my kids this weekend. I initially gave up that opportunity over a month ago on account of my ex having a mini vacation planned with them. Those plans, which sounded very fun, unfortunately fell through and I had the choice to keep the weekend the same as planned or have my kids. I believe I even mentioned this to you as I saw it as an opportunity for some together time and made my decision based on that discussion.

Now, I’m pretty sure you know just how sacred I consider time with my kids. I know this based on how when we have our heart to heart conversations you mention how you don’t feel like a priority like my kids are some time. Despite your KNOWING, it’s likely unfair to expect you to UNDERSTAND what a priority my kids are. They are MY kids, my flesh and blood and my time with them at their amazing ages and stages of development is extremely sacred.

Regardless of the intent it, it is hard for me to not be frustrated with you, with the way things are. I begin to wonder if you are the right person to be with. I wonder if, like the stepmother in Cinderella, you will hold jealousy, dislike and potentially malice for my kids. I cannot be with someone who is going to have a me or the kids attitude. It is a no win for you if phrased that way.

Maybe I need to be open to finding someone who understands my situation a little better. Someone who maybe has kids of their own. Someone who doesn’t admittedly have such a “why not me” attitude. In ultimate reality, the question really doesn’t need to be “you or someone else”. I often feel I could be very comfortable on my own. I don’t need someone who is going to play games, even subtle passive-aggressive ones.

I like you and I care about you, but in moments like these it’s easy for me to see it not going beyond that.