I’m fucking crabby. It’s the kind of crabby where I’m a little edgy too; as though my insides burst out in a glorious explosion of broken walls, broken glass and broken bodies. A trail of broken bodies ranging from my patronizing ass-hat of a co-worker for nitpicking how I was helping one of our technicians solve a machine issue to my boss for shuffling his feet on some travel that needs to get approved so I can book it.

Included is also one of our applications engineers who mowed on an apple while GIVING a presentation in MY meeting, as well as responded to a customer email without thinking about what the customer might actually need. Another is my direct minion, bless him, he makes me look good with the exception of never showing up for work before 10 am. The next in line is my former work-wife who I’m now having to deal with a potentially massive recall of parts that she played a key role in designing before leaving for greener pastures. Greener pastures and turn brown, burn and die too. How dare you taunt me, I know how much manure you’re filled with.

I think I need some awesome sex and a vacation.