Ah, that mix of spring and religious celebration. What an excellent time for family gatherings and too much candy. On a side note it seems that fall, winter and spring each have their “candy” holiday, perhaps summer is feeling left out? The holidays are an interesting and tenuous when going through a divorce. Some of the rules are clear, I was not welcome at my in-laws. Others are not so clear, the ex-wife came to my aunts for the holiday. My aunt has a very nice place on a creek with lots of land. It is a perfect place for the annual egg hunt.
The eggs, like everything else, have become progressively more absurd in value. One of my uncles stuffs the eggs with candy and coinage. There are number of “high value” eggs that contain at least $5USD. The location of these eggs is carefully monitored. One egg this year had $20 in it! My daughter found it, much to the chagrin of my son who pouted the remainder of the afternoon. H remained upset, even when my daughter tried to compensate by giving another egg to him.
For some reason, my son’s attitude wore thin on my patience, but he is who he is. “My sister made me upset”, “everybody always helps her and takes her side”, “go away!” were the echos of his afternoon.
I really wanted to take corrective action in the manner of a whooping, but being a 21st century parent I figured that was a little too mid-20th century of a technique. Instead I tried to give him a couple “eggs” of my own and leave it be. There were a couple cliche chunks of wisdom:
- Life is
not alwaysSELDOM fair.
- Your sister is two years younger than you, she’s going to get a little more help at times
- Being the oldest kid is hard at times (coming from an oldest kid)
However the final one I tried to make meaningful to his attitude and a small step towards being an independent self:
- We choose our own attitudes towards life. It’s fine to feel angry, but how we react to it says everything about our character.
- Don’t let others define our emotions
I’m sure this went over his head, but I’m hoping little bits at a time it will stick and save him much grief. Realizing that the self and one’s perspective are key to one’s own happiness is probably the biggest lesson I’m learning the hard way.
At a minimum I hope this little “egg” gives him something to muse while he consumes his basket full of goodies.
I think the majority of times, it is ourselves that is messing around with how we feel. External things can change the physical things that we possess, but can never change our own attitudes/feelings without our permission. In other words, the soul/spirit stays intact as long as we are preserving it. But I guess that hardest part is how we can transmit the sensible thought to a kiddo, when sometimes it is even hard for us ourselves to put this mindset into practice.