It’s been a couple days. I’ve crossed a couple boundaries by unblocking the affair person. She emailed me a quick email yesterday. I did an odd thing and replied with a blank one. I was playing golf at the time, the contact really threw my game. I received a couple more emails from her. One essentially saying, “shit, or get off the pot” (pardon the crude colloquialism).
I really want to write her something more substantial, tell her that I miss her but I need to get over her and that not contacting her is just causing a vicious cycle of want and wane. My program friend says just don’t contact her today, I have time. My therapist says only if I’m coming from a place of strength. Admittedly, I’m not in a place of strength. I have my first “big” attorney meeting today for my divorce. Plus, all the other stuff from my last post is still hovering AND I just found out I’m not getting funded for essentially two proposals that I wrote or contributed to.
Mine are very much “first world” problems, particularly contrasted through the horror of a gelatin earth that the people of Nepal are experiencing or the crap going on in Baltimore. It’s a good time to meditate and pray for some larger perspective and get back on my path which leads away from the affair person for the next while.
Thoughts are very much welcome.
Do you really want to go down that rabbit hole? Contacting her is just going to miss you up more. Set you back. What is it that you want to accomplish by telling her you miss her?
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Thanks for the comment! That’s the conclusion I’m quickly coming to; that in the long run it would do more harm than good, likely for both of us.
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I have only skimmed so I might have this wrong. You and your wife are divorcing so why can’t you and your AP be together? Do I pick up sex addiction in your blog? Is your AP married? If not and you love each other what is the barrier?
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Thanks for the comment. I think she was more drug-like to me than anything, there was a lot of other crap in the relationship. Check out one of my earlier posts called “So Many Reasons” and you’ll just catch the tip of the craziness.
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My ex AP is my drug and I’m an addict. Just take it one day at a time. And avoid the chaos.
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