Since the end of my (American) football coaching season, I’ve been dipping my toes in the realm of online dating. I’ve been on some good dates and am learning what I’m looking for in a partner. After these last couple months I can safely say that I’m burned out.
Part of the issue is life is just busy during the holidays and I’ve grown weary of sinking the extra time into first and occasional second dates that are mediocre at best. I’m also starting to grow very skeptical that the online format is meant to do anything but keep people from stopping the hunt. There’s always the invocation of the illusion heuristic that says if you even hit it off with a person, maybe there’s a better person out there; maybe the next one will be that true soul mate.
The reality is there are a lot of good people out there and there are a few limits I have, e.g. distance and not being a Trumpster, but I have a hard time seeing through the “noise” of there being so many folks out there. It also doesn’t help that my brain is not overly focused on this goal. As usual, there’s a lot going on with work and stress about getting my home in order. I’m in the middle of a DIY basement renovation that is taking a lot of time. There’s enough adulting in my life that I don’t really want to jive with others’ being overly mature. It almost makes me feel like I should be looking for someone with no kids or maybe even a little bit younger to instill some youthfulness.
Regardless, it is time to take a break. I have started the “thanks, but no thanks” process with some of my connections and have begun uninstalling the apps. The process is lifting a weight from me. It’s time to work on the things I need to get done and trust that things will come together in time.